LIFE CHANGES

I WAS PONDERING ABOUT SOME OF MY CHANGES I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE AND WHEN I LOOK BACK I SUDDENLY REALIZE GOD HAS ALWAYS WORKED THINGS OUT FOR ME. THE WORSE THINGS THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME STEERED ME RIGHT INTO THE CORRECT PATH.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME WHEN MY LIFE HAD SUNKEN INTO AN ALL TIME LOW WHEN I WAS ABOUT 26. I HAD STARTED DRINKING JUST TO COPE. I HAD BECOME SO PARANOID THAT I WOULDN'T EVEN STEP OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR FEAR SOMEONE WOULD SEE ME. MY ANSWER WAS TO STAY DRUNK SO I COULD ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE. I HAD TO BE DRUNK JUST TO GO WHERE PEOPLE WERE. I REALLY SUNK BELOW THE SURFACE AND DROWNING EVEN SOUNDED DESIRABLE TO THE LIFE I WAS LIVING.

TO ESCALATE MATTERS MORE TOWARDS HELL, I GOT EVICTED FROM THE TRAILER PARK I LIVED IN 4 MONTHS BEFORE FINAL PAYOFF ON MY TRAILER ,WHICH I FELT WAS REAL UNFAIR SINCE THE EVICTION HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING I HAD DONE. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE I BURNED BOTH HANDS AND BOTH FEET TWO DAYS AFTER THE EVICTION. NO ONE COULD HELP ME MOVE, NO ONE HAD ANY MONEY AND I FELT THE AS IF MY WORLD HAD EXPLODED AROUND ME. HERE I WAS WITH THREE CHILDREN, NO JOB, NO HOME AND NO ONE TO HELP ME.

I COULD HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE EASIEST THING TO DO AND YOU CAN BELIEVE I FELT LIKE IT. THE DEVIL HAD A FIELD DAY TELLING ME WHAT A LOW DOWN PIECE OF SCUM I WAS. WHAT A FAILURE I WAS AS A PARENT AND EVEN AS A HUMAN BEING. I ROLLED AROUND IN SELF PITY AND PULLED IN EVERYBODY I COULD INTO MY PITY WORLD. I DEPRESSED MYSELF WITH ALL MY PITY STORIES.

GOD KNEW THAT LIKE SWIMMING WHEN I GOT TO THE BOTTOM I WOULD KICK BACK OFF AND HEAD BACK TO THE TOP. HE KNEW I COULDN'T STAY UNDER FOR LONG THAT I'M A NATURAL FLOATER. HE KNEW THAT ONE DAY I WOULD WAGE WAR ON THE DEVIL AND START SWINGING. I FLOATED AROUND WITH MY CHILDREN FOR A WHILE AND WATCHED THE FEAR IN THEIR EYES THAT THIS WAS THE LIFE THAT THEY WERE GOING TO LIVE. I HAD ENOUGH AND REACHED INSIDE MYSELF AND PULLED OUT THE BAT AND SWUNG WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND KNOCKED THAT DEVIL OFF HIS FEET.

I GOT ME A PLACE TO LIVE AND WENT BACK TO WORK. I STOPPED DRINKING AND WATCHED THE SMILES OF MY CHILDREN AS I GAVE THANKS FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE. EVERY HUG WAS A TREASURE AND I WONDERED HOW I COULD HAVE BEEN SO BLIND THAT I COULDN'T SEE THAT IN FRONT OF ME WAS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING GOD COULD EVER GIVE A PERSON ,MY CHILDREN. I KNEW THAT THIS IS HOW GOD FEELS WHEN WE SMILE KNOWING HE IS CARING FOR US AND MEETING OUR NEEDS .
THE JOY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SHARED THROUGH UNCONDITIONAL HEARTS.

AS I LOOK BACK I SEE HOW GOD HAD TO KICK MY ASS JUST TO GET ME TO WAKE UP. I WAS SO EVOLVED AROUND MYSELF THAT I COULDN'T EVEN SEE THAT ALL I NEEDED WAS ALWAYS THERE. HOW HE FORCED ME TO CHANGE, BY MAKING ME FACE ,MY ULTIMATE ENEMY ,ME! TO TAKE A LONG LOOK AT THE MONSTER I HAD BECOME. HE FORCED ME TO EXPELLED THE DEMONS THAT HAD CAME RIGHT OUT OF HELL TO PROCESS ME.

EVERYDAY I PRAY THANKS TO GOD THAT I CAN WAKE UP AND TAKE A LONG LOOK AT THAT PERSON I WAS AND BE GRATEFUL THAT HE MADE ME SUCH A GREAT SWIMMER THAT I CAN TREAD WATER FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES AND THAT HE GIVES ME THE INSIGHT TO LOOK FOR LAND WHEN I AM STRANDED IN THE THE OCEAN OF LIFE.

I WAS THINKING TODAY ABOUT LOSING OUR WORSHIP LEADER IN OUR CHURCH AGAIN. I DON'T ENVY THE PERSON WHO GETS TO TAKE HIS PLACE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT THIS MUST BE THE WORSE POSITION TO HAVE IN THE CHURCH. FIRST HERE'S THAT THIN LINE BETWEEN LEADING WORSHIP AND BEING WORSHIPED. I HAVE SEEN SO MANY WORSHIP LEADERS WHO THINK THAT IF EVERYONE IS NOT INTO THE WORSHIP MODE ,THAT ITS ALL THEIR FAULT. YOU KNOW SATAN TAKES ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLES DOUBT AND FEEDS ON THIS AND REALLY CAN BRING DOWN THE CONGREGATION JUST BY WHISPERING INTO THE WORSHIP LEADERS HEAD.

AFTER ALL SATAN WAS GOD'S WORSHIP LEADER AND LOOK WHERE HE LED THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN. HE FELT HE SHOULD BE WORSHIPED FOR HIS ABILITIES ,AND SO HE WAS, BY A THIRD OF THE HEAVENLY HOST. YOU SEE WHERE IT GOT HIM AND HE SURE DON'T WANT TO BE THERE ALONE ,AFTER ALL, WHO WOULD WORSHIP HIM AND MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HOW HE WAS REJECTED BY GOD.

SURE LIVING FOR GOD IS HARD, AND IF SATAN IS NOT PUTTING UP A FUSS AND MAKING YOUR LIFE DIFFICULT ,THEN YOU, BETTER REEVALUATE YOUR BELIEFS. IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD THEN YOU NEED BATTLE SATAN ON A DAILY BASIS. THE TRICK IS TO KNOW WHEN ITS SATAN OR JUST GOD TESTING YOU. I FIND LOOKING AT THE END RESULTS USUALLY MAKE IT CLEAR AS GOD STEERS YOU TO SOMETHING BETTER AND SATAN STEERS YOU AS FAR FROM GOD AS HE CAN.

I WOULD SURE BE WORRIED IF SATAN WASN'T PUTTING UP A FIGHT THEN I WOULD KNOW THAT EITHER I AM NO THREAT TO HIM OR I HAVE DRIFTED SO FAR AWAY FROM GOD THAT HE HAS NO INTEREST IN ME. IF I AM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING FOR GOD AND EVERY THING IS COMING AGAINST ME THEN I FEEL ELATED . I KNOW THAT WHAT I AM DOING WILL BENEFIT GOD IN ALL HIS GLORY BECAUSE SATAN IS SO AGAINST THE END RESULT.

CATERPILLARS AND TADPOLES

SOMETIMES WHEN WE TRY TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN THE SIMPLEST THINGS ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. THE OTHER DAY WHILE WATCHING TV A SIMPLE CARTOON MADE A LESSON COME TO LIFE.

THE CARTOON WAS ABOUT A CATERPILLAR THAT THOUGHT SHE WAS SO UGLY. WHEN SHE LEARNED SHE WOULD SOMEDAY BE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND HER LIFE WOULD CHANGE IN A MARVELOUS WAY. ALL SHE COULD DO WAS BRAG. SHE WENT AROUND THE POND BRAGGING AND EVERYONE TOLD HER HOW GREAT IT WAS THAT ONE DAY SHE WOULD BE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND GRACEFUL.

WHEN SHE CAME TO THE TADPOLE SHE BRAGGED AND HE WAS SO JEALOUS. HE BOMBARDED HER WITH QUESTIONS. HOW, WHEN AND CAN YOU BE SURE. SHE ANSWERED THEM ALL IN A VERY PROUD WAY. HE BECAME OBSESSED WITH HER STORY AND QUESTIONED HER OVER AND OVER. SO SHE SAID JUST WATCH, AND AND I WILL SHOW YOU. SHE BEGAN SPINNING A CACOON AS HE ASKED WHY, SHE TOLD HIM JUST TO WATCH. SOON SHE FINISHED HER JOB AFTER SHE TOLD THE TADPOLE THAT SHE WOULD RETURN SOON. SHE DISAPPEARED INSIDE. HE WATCHED AND WATCHED AND WAITED ON HER DAILY TO RETURN.

FINALLY THE DAY CAME AND SHE EMERGED AND AS SHE HAD PREDICTED SHE WAS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN HE HAD IMAGINED AND HER LIFE HAD CHANGED. NOW SHE COULD FLY AND SHE FLEW GRACEFULLY AROUND AND AROUND SHOWING OFF. THE TADPOLE HAD NEVER IMAGINED THAT SHE WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO CHANGED . HE WAS SO HAPPY THAT HE JUMPED UP ON THE BANK.

HOW DID I DO THAT? HE ASKED AND HE LOOKED DOWN , HE HAD LEGS. WHERE DID THESE COME FROM?. HE HAD BEEN SO CONSUMED WITH THE CATERPILLAR AND HER CHANGE HE HAD NOT EVEN NOTICED THAT HE HAD CHANGED TO AND HIS LIFE WOULD BE CHANGING BECAUSE HE HIMSELF HAD CHANGED . NOW HE WAS ON THE LAND AND ABLE TO JUMP AROUND AND LIVE A WHOLE NEW LIFE.

SOMETIMES WE BECOME SO CONSUMED WITH HOW OTHERS ARE CHANGING AND SO JEALOUS THAT WE DON'T NOTICE THAT WE ARE LOSING OUR TAILS. THAT OUR CHANGES ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THOSE OF THE OTHER PEOPLE. THAT IF WE LOOK MORE AT OURSELVES THAT WE WOULD REALIZE THAT OUR JOURNEY IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THE PEOPLE WE ADMIRE. THAT WE ARE GROWING LEGS THAT WILL SET US FREE IN THE WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN.

Bread "The Staff Of Life"

I was looking for something to write about. I don't know why bread was on my mind but here is something to ponder about. I was thinking about JESUS saying that bread was his body. He broke the bread and passed pieces to his followers. I can see how that represented the breaking of his body and the spreading of the word of CHRIST. Each piece would represent the WORD being consumed by an individual. What struck me was that after being consumed our bodies secrete enzymes to digest the bread, the bread passes into the stomach is then digested by enzymes and each carbon string is separated into glucose molecules and the left over is sent to be disposed of. The good molecules are sent out all over the body to be used as energy and allows the body to function normally as it was created to do. Maybe bread has a deeper meaning than we all realize. Maybe "The staff of life" has a deeper meaning than just building and repairing cells in our body. Maybe it represents the separation of the good and evil in our spirit so that the good can be applied were it can benefit us most.

HOW DO WE TREAT PEOPLE?

I REMEMBER AN OLD MAN THAT CAME INTO OUR CHRUCH ONE SUNDAY. HE CLAIMED TO BE 92. HE HAD AN ODER ABOUT HIM THAT WAS LIKE NO OTHER. HE WAS FUNNY AND THE CHILDREN ALL LOVED HIM AND WAS ALWAYS AMUSED AT HIS ANTICS. HE WAS AWAYS REMOVING HIS TEETH AND SWINGING HIS CANE AROUND HIS NECK. HE SLEPT THROUGH MOST OF OUR CHRUCH SERVICES.

WHAT REALLY HURTS ABOUT THIS MEMORY IS HOW THE ADULTS GRUMBLED ABOUT HIM. HOW HE SMELLED AND SNORED DURING CHRUCH. THEY EVEN GRUMBLED WHEN HE ASKED FOR A PLATE OF FOOD FROM OUR BREAKFAST ON SUNDAYS.

THE TEENS WERE ALSO VERY RUDE TO HIM RUNNING WHEN HE APPROACHED THEM. LAUGHING AT HIM BECAUSE OF HIS CONDITION. REFUSING TO HELP HIM WHEN HE STUMBLED. HOW FAST THEY LEARN FROM THE ADULTS.

MY THOUGHTS ON THIS IS WHAT IF HE WAS JESUS IN AN OLD MAN'S BODY COME TO TEST US? OH HOW MOST OF US FAILED!

THIS OLD MAN IS NOW IN HEAVEN WITH JESUS AND I BET JESUS NEVER ONCE TURNS HIS BACK ON HIM, NEVER LAUGHS AT HIS INABILIES, AND I BET THIS OLD MAN IS WELL FED WITH THE GRACE OF GOD. I BET HE IS SMILING AND HAPPY.

I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THOSE WHO TREATED HIM SO BADLY. I'M SURE GOD WILL DEAL WITH EACH BY THE MEASURE OF THIER CRULETY.

WHAT IF THAT HOMELESS MAN IS REALLY JESUS?

HOW WOULD WE BE GRADED ON HOW WE TREAT OUR HOMELESS? WOULD BODY SMELLS SEND US CRINGING TRYING TO GET AWAY SO WE DON'T HAVE TO SMELL HIM? COULD WE OVERLOOK THE SMELL AND BE NICE AND POLITE AND TRY TO MEET HIS BASIC NEEDS? COULD WE FOR ONE MINTUE THINK ABOUT HOW JESUS WOULD WANT US TO ACT? AFTER ALL JESUS WALKED FOR MANY MILES AND BATHS WERE NOT A EVERYDAY OCCURANCE. I'M SURE HE DIDN'T SMELL LIKE SOAP EVERYDAY OF HIS JOURNEY. WHAT IF THIS HOMELESS MAN WAS JESUS SENT TO TEST YOU? HOW WOULD YOU BE GRADED?

WOULD YOU FEED HIM? MOST OF US WOULD. WOULD YOU GIVE HIM CLOTHES? SOME OF US WOULD. WOULD YOU GIVE HIM MONEY? A FEW OF US MIGHT. HOW PROUD WE ARE OF ALL WE DO FOR THE HELPLESS. WOULD YOU GO HOME THAT NIGHT AND PRAY FOR HIM? WOULD YOU EVEN REMEMBER HIM? SO PROUD WE ARE FOR ALL WE DID FOR HIM YET WE LEFT OUT THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE COULD DO FOR THE HOMELESS AND WE TEND TO FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM WHEN WE DID OUR DUTY. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU THINK OF THE HOMELESS WHEN YOU PRAY? DO YOU PRAY GOD WILL PROVIDE HIM WITH FOOD, CLOTHES, AND MONEY SO HE CAN BE BLESSED THE WAY MOST OF US ARE? DO YOU EVEN THINK OF HIM AGAIN? MAYBE WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE AWAY SOMETHING YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE.

WHAT IF GOD ONLY THOUGHT OF US WHEN HE HAD SOMETHING HE DOESN'T NEED ANY MORE. WHAT IF HE ONLY BLESSED US WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE WAS GONE. HOW MANY OF US WOULD BE WALKING IN THE HOMELESS MAN'S SHOES? HOW BITTER WE MIGHT BE EVEN TOWARDS GOD AND JESUS. WHAT KIND OF LIFE WOULD THAT BE?

WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HOMELESS, NO POOR, NO ONE IN NEED EVER? HOW WOULD GOD GRADE US? HOW WOULD GOD KNOW WHO IS GOOD AND WHO IS EVIL? IF THERE IS NO EVIL HOW COULD WE KNOW HOW WE WOULD REACT TO IT? IF THERE WERE NO HOMELESS HOW COULD WE EVER KNOW HOW WE WOULD TREAT THEM? HOW CAN WE ANSWER QUESTIONS WHEN WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWERS IN OUR HEARTS ?

IF JESUS CAME TO WALK AMONG US TO TEST US HOW DO YOU THINK HE MIGHT DO THAT AND HOW DO YOU THINK HE MIGHT LOOK? THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!