God I Wonder

As I walk around the path I see flowers that have busted out and filled themselves with color and I wonder.
I see tree swaying in the wind blowing as if they are paying homage to God and I wonder.

I hear the birds and their songs reach into the heavens like a choir of angels and I wonder.
I see the clouds white and fluffy rolling across the bright blue sky and I wonder.

I hear the water rippling along over the rocks and the music they make soothes my nerves but still I wonder.
I see the crystal beauty of the water and the white bubbles that rise as they pass over the rocks and still I wonder.

The meow of cat, the bark of a dog, the smell of honey suckle, the grass between my toes, and still I wonder.
How God could love me so much he gave me all this to hear, feel,see and do I deserve it still I wonder.

THE PUPPET MASTER

If the Lord is the Puppet Master then I will be his puppet. He will pull the strings and make me dance and sing his songs and control my every move. I will sing the words he puts in my mouth. For it is he whom made me and he chose the wood that he carved my body from. He placed the strings on my hands and legs to perform for him. It is in the comfort of these strings I feel safe and secure. One day I will be a real boy(girl) with the freedom from these strings that day being when God knows I can stand on my own and when I can sing and dance with him in his loving arms . He will never leave me but will only guide me and I will no longer need the strings I will know the dance and the song. We will be together and enhance each other through love.

If you believe that you are giving up your freedom by letting God be in control then remember the nights without him. The nights of alcohol and drugs the lies , the deceit, the sex, all that great fun. The day after hugging the potty seat and the roaring headache that feels like half your head was blown off the night before. Oh what great fun that was and there you were alone, alone and alone. The truth is God was there with you yet you were to ashamed to even lift your eyes to him. How many times did you swear that you would never ever do this again. Yet again as soon as the pain went away you were right back out there trying to have another great day of sickness, shame and pure disgust. The whole time God sat waiting on you to just lift up your eyes and say one word "help".

He would then attach the strings with your permission and oil the joints slowly and begin to move you. It's not easy and he would never say this is going to be easy but he will lay out the road one stone at a time and move you slowly on to the path. Every once in a while a stone won't support your weight but God will place another one just in reach and see if you are still on the path. He will teach you the song and the dance. He will control you at first but one day he will pull out the scissors and cut the strings. If fear creeps in then open your eyes and take the hand extended to you and dance with your lord in the security of his arms to the music of life.

What I learned in my study of Exodus

The bible talks about the people leaving Egypt. We have always heard the miracle of the departing sea and never really thought much about any thing else. While discussing the Exodus with my children it hit me that there was more to the story than a miracle. The lesson is that whenever God performs a miracle like freeing the people from Egypt we rejoice and sing praises to him but as soon when our memory grows faint of the miracles and we find ourselves against the sea and the enemy advancing we start to complain. We begin to proclaim that it's not worth the effort and we would be better off to submit than to keep our faith. The devil's tool is to make it very apparent what we don't have and blinds us to what we do have. If we remove the blinders we would see that we have everything we need not everything we want. God hears our calls for things we want but as the people in the desert proved we suddenly let our desires overtake us and hoard up God's blessings and rationalize why it's OK. God cares about our wants but if it doesn't serve his purpose all the complaining in the world will not bring it about. If you are being rewarded with riches and life is not even a challenge then you better step back and take a look at your life because you may not be serving God but the Devil.

HANDING PROBLEMS TO GOD

I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW DIFFERENT I AM TO MY GRAND CHILDREN THAN I WAS TO MY SONS. I DON'T PUNISH THE SAME AND OVERLOOK QUITE A BIT MORE. I AM MORE PATIENT AND MORE DEDICATED TO CHRISTIAN VALUES. I WAS WONDERING WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS.





THINKING ABOUT THE OLD TESTAMENT AND HOW GOD WAS SO DIFFERENT THEN. HE HAD TO TEACH DRASTIC LESSONS AND LISTEN TO THE CONSTANT COMPLAINING OF HIS PEOPLE. GOD IS SO DIFFERENT NOW AND EVEN THOUGH HE STILL TEACHES LESSONS HE SEEMS MORE PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING ABOUT HIS CREATION. ALL THIS BECAUSE OF HIS SON JESUS CHRIST. ARE WE THE GRAND KIDS OF GOD? HE DISCIPLINES US LESS BECAUSE OF HIS SON WHO PAID THE PRICE FOR OUR SIN.



I WAS DIFFERENT AS A PARENT I EXPECTED PERFECTION AND THERE WAS A PRICE TO PAY FOR DISOBEDIENCE. OF COURSE I NEVER GOT PERFECTION ALL I GOT WAS A LOT OF FAILURES IN MY MARRIAGE ,IN MY PARENTING, AND IN MY FINANCES. I FELT LIKE A FLOP AND JUST WANTED TO HIDE SOMEWHERE SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO FACE THE REAL ME.







THINKING BACK I KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS. I WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN FINDING MY HAPPINESS I COULDN'T SEE WHAT GOD HAD PLACED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I WAS SO MISERABLE THAT I MADE MY CHILDREN'S LIFE MISERABLE ALSO. I LOVED THEM WITH ALL MY HEART BUT I FELT I WAS MISSING SOMETHING AND YES I PROBABLY BLAMED MY CHILDREN BECAUSE ALL THE FUN WAS GONE IN MY LIFE. I SPENT ENDLESS DAYS TRYING TO FIND A BABY SITTER JUST S I COULD WREAK MY LIFE SOME MORE. I ALSO WAS FULL OF GUILT FOR MY FAILURES THAT I KNOW I SEWED THAT IN MY SON'S LIFE. I THOUGHT GOD HAD TURNED HIS FACE FROM ME AND I WAS PAYING THE PRICE TAG.







YEARS LATER AFTER LOSING A SON AND GAINING MY GRAND CHILDREN TO RAISE I BEGAN TO NOTICE I WAS DIFFERENT. GOD WAS BACK, THE PROBLEMS WERE STILL THERE BUT I DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME. I HAD CAME TO REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING I NEED FOR HAPPINESS WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME . NOTHING IS AS GREAT AS A PAIR OF LITTLE ARMS GIVING YOU A HUG EVERY MORNING. SEEING THE SMILES ON EACH OF MY GRAND CHILDREN'S FACES AS THEY EXCEL THROUGH LIFE. TEACHING THEM ABOUT GOD AND HOPING THAT WHEN THE TIME COMES THAT THE LORD WILL HOLD THEM CLOSE AND PROTECT THEM FROM SOME OF LIFE'S UNPREDICTABLE EVENTS.





I SUDDENLY HAD A THOUGHT ALL THE DEPRESSION AND SADNESS I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT WAS BECAUSE I WANTED TO SET MYSELF UP AS SOMETHING ABOVE ALL ELSE. I WANTED TO BE AT THE HEAD OF HE TABLE. I WANTED TO BE SOMEBODY. THE TRUTH IS : I WAS ALWAYS SOMEBODY BUT I FELT LIKE I WAS NOTHING. IT WASN'T UNTIL LATER YEARS THAT I REALIZED THAT ALL THAT PRIDE MEANT NOTHING. THE ONLY REAL MEANINGS COME FROM YOUR FAMILY. THE PAIN I FELT, AS I FELT LIKE A FAILURE AS A MOTHER YET I DID NOTHING ABOUT IT. ALL THE WASTED TEARS AND WASTED YEARS I GAVE TO SATAN. HE ROLLED ME AROUND LIKE A BALL OF YARN MY MISERY GROWING AS I ADDED THE GUILT LAYER AFTER LAYER. I CAN SEE THAT NOW BUT THE BLINDERS WERE WAY TO THICK BACK THEN.





IT WASN'T UNTIL I SET DOWN ONE DAY AND SAID "WHAT AM I DOING?" I'VE ALWAYS SAID I TRUSTED GOD YET I NEVER ONCE TURNED OVER MY LIFE TO HIM. I WAS TRYING TO FIX THINGS MYSELF ,BE IN CONTROL, BE SOMETHING I'M NOT. THE WORST EMBARRASSMENT I EVER HAD WAS TO ADMIT I CAN'T HANDLE MY LIFE AND THAT I AM A COMPLETE FAILURE AT MY ATTEMPTS. I STILL TRY TO CONTROL THINGS. IF I HAVE A PROBLEM I STILL SPEND MANY HOURS TRYING TO FIND A SOLUTION. IT IS WHEN I FINALLY GIVE UP THAT GOD SAYS "WATCH THIS" AND FIXES IT WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE.





WHEN A FRIEND WAS SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I HEARD HIM TRYING TO ANALYZE HIS PROBLEM THAT I REALIZED THAT HE WASN'T LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD TAKE CARE OF IT. HE WAS STILL PUTTING A HUMAN FACTOR IN THE EQUATION AND SADLY I KNEW GOD WAS WAITING ON HIM TO GIVE UP AND HAND IT TO HIM.





I DON'T THINK WE REALIZE THAT AS LONG A WE INTERVENE GOD WILL LET US TRY TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE. A FRIEND TOLD ME ONCE THAT GOD WAS CRUEL IF HE LET PEOPLE SUFFER SO, BUT I BELIEVE THAT IT'S A LEARNING PROCESS AND WE USUALLY WALK AWAY WITH A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF HOW GOD WORKS. OF COURSE I DON'T JUST SET BACK AND SAY ITS YOUR PROBLEM GOD BECAUSE I AM HUMAN AND PUTTING IN THE HUMAN FACTOR IS WHAT HUMANS DO. I STILL SPEND MANY HOURS TRYING TO SOLVE EVERYTHING INCLUDING HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS. I MAY AS WELL AIM HIGH AFTER ALL WHO KNOWS GOD MIGHT JUST ANSWER THAT PROBLEM FOR ME ONE DAY TOO.

AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS

I AWOKE THIS MORNING WITH SOMETHING ON MY MIND SO POWERFUL I HAD TO WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE I COULD EVEN START MY DAY.

I KNEW THERE MUST BE SOME REASON WHY THE FOOT OF THE CROSS COULD BE SO IMPORTANT. I KNOW WHY IT IS ,IN A SENSE , BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE YOU LAY ALL YOUR SINS. BUT THINGS LIKE JESUS SPEAKING ABOUT THE FOOT OF THE TABLE KEEP CREEPING UP IN MY MIND. THERE HAD TO BE A REASON WHY JESUS KELP REFERRING TO THE FOOT OF THE TABLE. I KNEW IMMEDIATELY JESUS WAS SPEAKING ABOUT HIMSELF WHEN HE TOLD THIS PARABLE. AFTER ALL WHOM WAS MORE HUMBLE THAN JESUS.

IN MY MIND I DEBATE THIS FACT OVER AND OVER. IS THAT HOW WE COME INTO THIS WORLD AT TH FOOT OF THE TABLE? AFTER ALL WE ARE BORN WITHOUT SIN OR ARE WE? I AWAYS HEARD THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO TEACH A CHILD TO BE A SINNER BUT WE DO HAVE TO TEACH THEM HOW NOT TO. IF WE ARE BORN NATURAL SINNERS THEN HOW DID JESUS ESCAPE THE TENDENCIES TO SIN THAT WE ARE ALL BORN WITH? WE ALL KNOW THAT HE DIED WITHOUT EVER SINNING.

HE NEVER EXALTED HIMSELF OVER ANY THING AND FACED FEAR IN A MIGHTY HUMBLE WAY. HE ALWAYS SEATED HIMSELF SO THAT HE WAS JUST A GUEST AND WAITED TO BE INVITED TO THE HEAD OF THE TABLE. HE STILL SITS AT THE BOTTOM OF EACH OF OUR TABLES AND WAITS ON US TO INVITE HIM TO THE HEAD OF OUR TABLE. THE SHEAR MAGNITUDE OF HIS INNOCENCE SOMETIMES EVADES ALL UNDERSTANDING. WHY WOULD ANY HUMANE BEING GO THROUGH WHAT HE WENT THROUGH FOR A WEAK MINDED PERSON LIKE ME.

IF YOU HAD BEEN AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS AND LOOKED UP WHAT YOU SAW WOULD HAVE TERRIFIED YOU SO THAT THAT SLEEP MIGHT NEVER COME AGAIN. TO SEE A FRAIL AND NUB OF A MAN HANGING BREATHING HIS LAST BREATHE, BLEEDING PROFUSELY, AND TORTURED BEYOND OUR COMPREHENSION. YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT HIS FLESH WAS SCULPTURED TO HORRIFY ONLOOKERS SO THEY WOULD FLEE IN TERROR. THIS MAN WOULD HAVE BEEN CARVED UP SO BAD, SO THAT THE ROMANS COULD MAKE A POINT TO THE PEOPLE, THAT REVOLT WAS FUTILE. THE NAILS OR SPIKES WERE USED TO STRIKE SHOCK AND HORROR IN THE HEARTS OF ALL WHO SAW OR HEARD ABOUT HIS DEATH . THIS EXECUTION WAS DESIGNED TO STRIKE FEAR IN THE STRONGEST OF HEARTS. JESUS BEING MUCH MORE OF A THREAT THAN ANY ORDINARY THIEF. THEY WOULD HAVE MADE A EXAMPLE OF HIM SO ALL HOPE WOULD DIE WITH HIM. TORTURING HIM BEYOND ANY ORDINARY MAN, KEEPING HIM ALIVE AS LONG AS THEY COULD TO PARADE HIM BEFORE THE PEOPLE AS AN EXAMPLE OF THEIR POWER. I CAN IMAGINE THAT THE DEVIL WAS LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY THINKING HE HAD WON AND DEFEATED THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GOD.

ALL THAT MEN HAD DEDICATED, EVERY THING THEY OWNED , AND MENTALLY PRAISED WAS DIEING BEFORE THEIR EYES. THEIR SAVIOUR WAS SUDDENLY JUST A MAN. HOW THEY MUST HAVE GRIEVED. HOW GLOOMY THE EARTH MUST HAVE SEEMED AS DREAMS WERE BEFORE THE ON LOOKER'S EYES AND SUDDENLY AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS THE MOST MELANCHOLY DAY IN THE HISTORY OF MAN.

THE MOVIE THE PASSION PROBABLY ONLY SCRATCHED THE SURFACE OF THIS MAN'S TORTURE AND TORMENT. IF ONLY THE ROMANS COULD SEE THE FUTURE THEY WOULD HAVE SAW THAT THIS VERY DISPLAY OF THEIR POWER AND MIGHTY FORM OF PUNISHMENT, WOULD BE A TOOL, THAT REACHES OUT THROUGH SO MANY GENERATIONS DOING EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY HAD HOPED TO ACHIEVE. THE CROSS BEING THE SYMBOL OF HOPE AND PROSPERITY. WHO COULD HAVE ENGINEERED SUCH A PLAN? WHAT WAS MAN'S MOST DISPIRITED DAY BECAME THE MOST SPIRITED DAY IN MANKIND'S EXISTENCE. THREE DAYS OF PAIN, TORTURE, AND DEATH COMES THE HOLY SPIRIT, THE COMFORTER, NEW HOPE, RENEWED GLORY, NEW POWER, AS THE PROMISES OF GOD BECOME ALIVE.

BED OF FLOWERS

I WAS RIDING TO BREVARD THE OTHER DAY AND WE PASSED THIS FIELD OF FLOWERS. A MAN HAD SET UP A CAMERA AND A VERY GORGEOUS LADY SAT IN THE THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOWERS. WHAT AN ALLURING BACKGROUND FOR ANY ONE.

GOD SPOKE TO ME AND SAID YOU SEE ,THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR ALL MY CHILDREN TO SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF MY CREATIONS AND STAND OUT AS THE MOST ELEGANT OF MY CREATIONS. TO SHINE ABOVE THE THE VIVID AND LOVELY LAYOUT OF MY BLANKET OF COLOR . I COULD THINK OF NOTHING ELSE FOR QUITE A WHILE. WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA GOD CREATED, WHAT AN AWESOME PLAN.

IF I THOUGHT THAT THE LESSON WAS OVER I WAS VERY MISTAKEN. AS WE CAME BACK I SAW THE SAME MAN IN THE SAME FIELD OF FLOWERS, HE WAS ALONE AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA ON ONE FLOWER. OUT OF THOUSANDS OF FLOWERS SOME PURPLE, SOME YELLOW, AND SOME WHITE ,HE FOCUSED ON ONE FLOWER. GOD SPOKE TO ME AGAIN AND SAID "DID YOU NOTICE THAT ALL THE FLOWERS WERE JUST AS EXQUISITE AS THE ONE HE WAS FOCUSED ON? THEY ALL WERE JUST AS APPEALING ,EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE DIFFERENT IN COLOR, IN SIZE, AND IN LOCATIONS, THEY ALL WERE JUST AS MARVELOUS AND ASTOUNDING. THIS IS HOW I VIEW A PERSON, I SINGLE YOU OUT AND CREATE A IMAGE THAT IS ENTICING AND ELEGANT. THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE ONE OF THE THOUSANDS ,YOU ARE THE ONE CHOSEN TO BE THE PERFECT PICTURE. THIS IS HOW I ALWAYS HOPE TO SEE YOU EVEN IF YOU WITHER AWAY, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THIS ONE PERFECT FLOWER IN THE FIELD OF FLOWERS."

I WAS THINKING TODAY ABOUT LOSING OUR WORSHIP LEADER IN OUR CHURCH AGAIN. I DON'T ENVY THE PERSON WHO GETS TO TAKE HIS PLACE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT THIS MUST BE THE WORSE POSITION TO HAVE IN THE CHURCH. FIRST HERE'S THAT THIN LINE BETWEEN LEADING WORSHIP AND BEING WORSHIPED. I HAVE SEEN SO MANY WORSHIP LEADERS WHO THINK THAT IF EVERYONE IS NOT INTO THE WORSHIP MODE ,THAT ITS ALL THEIR FAULT. YOU KNOW SATAN TAKES ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLES DOUBT AND FEEDS ON THIS AND REALLY CAN BRING DOWN THE CONGREGATION JUST BY WHISPERING INTO THE WORSHIP LEADERS HEAD.

AFTER ALL SATAN WAS GOD'S WORSHIP LEADER AND LOOK WHERE HE LED THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN. HE FELT HE SHOULD BE WORSHIPED FOR HIS ABILITIES ,AND SO HE WAS, BY A THIRD OF THE HEAVENLY HOST. YOU SEE WHERE IT GOT HIM AND HE SURE DON'T WANT TO BE THERE ALONE ,AFTER ALL, WHO WOULD WORSHIP HIM AND MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HOW HE WAS REJECTED BY GOD.

SURE LIVING FOR GOD IS HARD, AND IF SATAN IS NOT PUTTING UP A FUSS AND MAKING YOUR LIFE DIFFICULT ,THEN YOU, BETTER REEVALUATE YOUR BELIEFS. IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD THEN YOU NEED BATTLE SATAN ON A DAILY BASIS. THE TRICK IS TO KNOW WHEN ITS SATAN OR JUST GOD TESTING YOU. I FIND LOOKING AT THE END RESULTS USUALLY MAKE IT CLEAR AS GOD STEERS YOU TO SOMETHING BETTER AND SATAN STEERS YOU AS FAR FROM GOD AS HE CAN.

I WOULD SURE BE WORRIED IF SATAN WASN'T PUTTING UP A FIGHT THEN I WOULD KNOW THAT EITHER I AM NO THREAT TO HIM OR I HAVE DRIFTED SO FAR AWAY FROM GOD THAT HE HAS NO INTEREST IN ME. IF I AM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING FOR GOD AND EVERY THING IS COMING AGAINST ME THEN I FEEL ELATED . I KNOW THAT WHAT I AM DOING WILL BENEFIT GOD IN ALL HIS GLORY BECAUSE SATAN IS SO AGAINST THE END RESULT.