THE PUPPET MASTER

If the Lord is the Puppet Master then I will be his puppet. He will pull the strings and make me dance and sing his songs and control my every move. I will sing the words he puts in my mouth. For it is he whom made me and he chose the wood that he carved my body from. He placed the strings on my hands and legs to perform for him. It is in the comfort of these strings I feel safe and secure. One day I will be a real boy(girl) with the freedom from these strings that day being when God knows I can stand on my own and when I can sing and dance with him in his loving arms . He will never leave me but will only guide me and I will no longer need the strings I will know the dance and the song. We will be together and enhance each other through love.

If you believe that you are giving up your freedom by letting God be in control then remember the nights without him. The nights of alcohol and drugs the lies , the deceit, the sex, all that great fun. The day after hugging the potty seat and the roaring headache that feels like half your head was blown off the night before. Oh what great fun that was and there you were alone, alone and alone. The truth is God was there with you yet you were to ashamed to even lift your eyes to him. How many times did you swear that you would never ever do this again. Yet again as soon as the pain went away you were right back out there trying to have another great day of sickness, shame and pure disgust. The whole time God sat waiting on you to just lift up your eyes and say one word "help".

He would then attach the strings with your permission and oil the joints slowly and begin to move you. It's not easy and he would never say this is going to be easy but he will lay out the road one stone at a time and move you slowly on to the path. Every once in a while a stone won't support your weight but God will place another one just in reach and see if you are still on the path. He will teach you the song and the dance. He will control you at first but one day he will pull out the scissors and cut the strings. If fear creeps in then open your eyes and take the hand extended to you and dance with your lord in the security of his arms to the music of life.

BED OF FLOWERS

I WAS RIDING TO BREVARD THE OTHER DAY AND WE PASSED THIS FIELD OF FLOWERS. A MAN HAD SET UP A CAMERA AND A VERY GORGEOUS LADY SAT IN THE THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOWERS. WHAT AN ALLURING BACKGROUND FOR ANY ONE.

GOD SPOKE TO ME AND SAID YOU SEE ,THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR ALL MY CHILDREN TO SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF MY CREATIONS AND STAND OUT AS THE MOST ELEGANT OF MY CREATIONS. TO SHINE ABOVE THE THE VIVID AND LOVELY LAYOUT OF MY BLANKET OF COLOR . I COULD THINK OF NOTHING ELSE FOR QUITE A WHILE. WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA GOD CREATED, WHAT AN AWESOME PLAN.

IF I THOUGHT THAT THE LESSON WAS OVER I WAS VERY MISTAKEN. AS WE CAME BACK I SAW THE SAME MAN IN THE SAME FIELD OF FLOWERS, HE WAS ALONE AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA ON ONE FLOWER. OUT OF THOUSANDS OF FLOWERS SOME PURPLE, SOME YELLOW, AND SOME WHITE ,HE FOCUSED ON ONE FLOWER. GOD SPOKE TO ME AGAIN AND SAID "DID YOU NOTICE THAT ALL THE FLOWERS WERE JUST AS EXQUISITE AS THE ONE HE WAS FOCUSED ON? THEY ALL WERE JUST AS APPEALING ,EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE DIFFERENT IN COLOR, IN SIZE, AND IN LOCATIONS, THEY ALL WERE JUST AS MARVELOUS AND ASTOUNDING. THIS IS HOW I VIEW A PERSON, I SINGLE YOU OUT AND CREATE A IMAGE THAT IS ENTICING AND ELEGANT. THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE ONE OF THE THOUSANDS ,YOU ARE THE ONE CHOSEN TO BE THE PERFECT PICTURE. THIS IS HOW I ALWAYS HOPE TO SEE YOU EVEN IF YOU WITHER AWAY, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THIS ONE PERFECT FLOWER IN THE FIELD OF FLOWERS."

LIFE CHANGES

I WAS PONDERING ABOUT SOME OF MY CHANGES I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE AND WHEN I LOOK BACK I SUDDENLY REALIZE GOD HAS ALWAYS WORKED THINGS OUT FOR ME. THE WORSE THINGS THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME STEERED ME RIGHT INTO THE CORRECT PATH.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME WHEN MY LIFE HAD SUNKEN INTO AN ALL TIME LOW WHEN I WAS ABOUT 26. I HAD STARTED DRINKING JUST TO COPE. I HAD BECOME SO PARANOID THAT I WOULDN'T EVEN STEP OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR FEAR SOMEONE WOULD SEE ME. MY ANSWER WAS TO STAY DRUNK SO I COULD ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE. I HAD TO BE DRUNK JUST TO GO WHERE PEOPLE WERE. I REALLY SUNK BELOW THE SURFACE AND DROWNING EVEN SOUNDED DESIRABLE TO THE LIFE I WAS LIVING.

TO ESCALATE MATTERS MORE TOWARDS HELL, I GOT EVICTED FROM THE TRAILER PARK I LIVED IN 4 MONTHS BEFORE FINAL PAYOFF ON MY TRAILER ,WHICH I FELT WAS REAL UNFAIR SINCE THE EVICTION HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING I HAD DONE. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE I BURNED BOTH HANDS AND BOTH FEET TWO DAYS AFTER THE EVICTION. NO ONE COULD HELP ME MOVE, NO ONE HAD ANY MONEY AND I FELT THE AS IF MY WORLD HAD EXPLODED AROUND ME. HERE I WAS WITH THREE CHILDREN, NO JOB, NO HOME AND NO ONE TO HELP ME.

I COULD HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE EASIEST THING TO DO AND YOU CAN BELIEVE I FELT LIKE IT. THE DEVIL HAD A FIELD DAY TELLING ME WHAT A LOW DOWN PIECE OF SCUM I WAS. WHAT A FAILURE I WAS AS A PARENT AND EVEN AS A HUMAN BEING. I ROLLED AROUND IN SELF PITY AND PULLED IN EVERYBODY I COULD INTO MY PITY WORLD. I DEPRESSED MYSELF WITH ALL MY PITY STORIES.

GOD KNEW THAT LIKE SWIMMING WHEN I GOT TO THE BOTTOM I WOULD KICK BACK OFF AND HEAD BACK TO THE TOP. HE KNEW I COULDN'T STAY UNDER FOR LONG THAT I'M A NATURAL FLOATER. HE KNEW THAT ONE DAY I WOULD WAGE WAR ON THE DEVIL AND START SWINGING. I FLOATED AROUND WITH MY CHILDREN FOR A WHILE AND WATCHED THE FEAR IN THEIR EYES THAT THIS WAS THE LIFE THAT THEY WERE GOING TO LIVE. I HAD ENOUGH AND REACHED INSIDE MYSELF AND PULLED OUT THE BAT AND SWUNG WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND KNOCKED THAT DEVIL OFF HIS FEET.

I GOT ME A PLACE TO LIVE AND WENT BACK TO WORK. I STOPPED DRINKING AND WATCHED THE SMILES OF MY CHILDREN AS I GAVE THANKS FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE. EVERY HUG WAS A TREASURE AND I WONDERED HOW I COULD HAVE BEEN SO BLIND THAT I COULDN'T SEE THAT IN FRONT OF ME WAS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING GOD COULD EVER GIVE A PERSON ,MY CHILDREN. I KNEW THAT THIS IS HOW GOD FEELS WHEN WE SMILE KNOWING HE IS CARING FOR US AND MEETING OUR NEEDS .
THE JOY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SHARED THROUGH UNCONDITIONAL HEARTS.

AS I LOOK BACK I SEE HOW GOD HAD TO KICK MY ASS JUST TO GET ME TO WAKE UP. I WAS SO EVOLVED AROUND MYSELF THAT I COULDN'T EVEN SEE THAT ALL I NEEDED WAS ALWAYS THERE. HOW HE FORCED ME TO CHANGE, BY MAKING ME FACE ,MY ULTIMATE ENEMY ,ME! TO TAKE A LONG LOOK AT THE MONSTER I HAD BECOME. HE FORCED ME TO EXPELLED THE DEMONS THAT HAD CAME RIGHT OUT OF HELL TO PROCESS ME.

EVERYDAY I PRAY THANKS TO GOD THAT I CAN WAKE UP AND TAKE A LONG LOOK AT THAT PERSON I WAS AND BE GRATEFUL THAT HE MADE ME SUCH A GREAT SWIMMER THAT I CAN TREAD WATER FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES AND THAT HE GIVES ME THE INSIGHT TO LOOK FOR LAND WHEN I AM STRANDED IN THE THE OCEAN OF LIFE.